Here goes nothing...

So here I am, going over all the thoughts in my head and finding not a soul to really share any of them with.  Sometimes it is so strange to me, to be surrounded by so many people and yet feel so alone much of the time. I guess this is why I started this thing right?  Tonight, my son Liam is having a hard time.  He is 9 months and has always been an amazing sleeper.  Not just that, but an amazing baby.  So good, no fussing, laid back, easy going.  But lately there has been changes in him, and while I know they are normal changes caused from teething, gas, and separation anxiety, it still makes me feel helpless.  I want to be able to help him feel safe, secure, and ease all his pains the second he cries out.  It is an awful feeling knowing that I can't. 

Today a friend lost their baby.  Perhaps that is why I am so sensitive to Liam's needs tonight.  She was over 6 months pregnant and they couldn't find the heartbeat.  What an absolute horrible feeling. I'm crying now just writing about it. I couldn't imagine anything harder for a woman to do, than give birth to her dead baby.  His name is Salvatore.  They held him in their arms.  I don't even have words to describe how awful I feel about it.  My husband says that he loves how I feel so much....that it hurts me so much.  But to me it's too much sometimes. It's like I can actually feel the pain.  I can feel what she must be going through and it tears me apart.  I do this a lot.  I become the person who is hurting and I feel the pain.  I used to think it is because I am sensitive, but sometimes I think there is something wrong with me.  Is it rational to have such reactions?  Why do I get so attached to a pain that isn't mine?